just a shade of grey
by TheHiddenAngel
Summary: everything is black and white, then there's reality who only knows shades of gray. drabbles. R
1. just a shade of grey

**Disclaimer – if I owned it I wouldn't be here.**

The world isn't pretty and its not fair, there is always black and white and but thrown in whirlwinds of reality everything is just a shade of gray.

_'shit shit shit' _I was hidden under my bed but I knew that it would only prolong the inevitable. I knew because this wasn't the first time and I had long since stopped trying to delude myself that it would be the last.

I could hear his heavy foot steps getting closer, the sound of him stumbling into the wall, my door opening. The growl when he didn't immediately find me then the sound of some bottle of what ever he had been drinking smashing against the wall above me. I could feel the drink soaking into my night shirt and the few glass shards that made in through the crack between the wall and bed coat my hair and side.

"get out 'ere ya little fuck" I watched as he fell to his knees and started to shake when I saw his face. The gleam of his eyes and the smile of pure pleasure caused a whimper to escape, he just laughed and reached under the bed as I tried to squeeze myself flatter against the wall. He grabbed my ankle and dragged me out my nails scrapping on the floor, tears running down my face.


	2. a movie we've seen before

**Disclaimer – don't own it**

Lets watch as time flies by, like a movie we seen before. We'll and laugh and cry and pretend we don't know how it ends.

- 6 years later -

I woke with the sun and hurried down stairs. Breakfast had to be ready before they woke and it couldn't be cold when they did. As I got to the foot of the stairs I saw my dad already in the kitchen, he was at the table and I knew a little further in would be my mom. 'fuck'

"get in 'ere ya little fuck" I scampered to stand stand beside the table. He glared down at me then smiled and I gulped. "why wasn't breakfast ready" it was a simple enough question.

"I-I um d-d-didnt wake er-early enough." I stuttered and cringed knowing what stuttering got me. I was laying next to the refrigerator in the next minute as limp as a doll hoping not to anger him any further. My mother just looked at me with disgust and went to sit next to father.

"well get to it!" he yelled and I was quick to fallow lest I end up getting "sick" and not being able to go to school.

By the time I got out the door I knew that I would have to jog to school but that was fine I took out my head phones and Mp3 and started the long jog to school.


	3. another torn world

**Disclaimer - nope**

And when your worlds as torn as mine I wonder if maybe then you'll understand a tenth of the pain I've

gone through.

I sat in the back of my first block cataloging all my knew injuries, bruised hip, cut on the back of my leg bruised shoulder and if I wasn't mistaken a cut on the back of my head. No wonder I had passed out last night.

The class started like normal till there was a knock at the door. In stepped a boy with pale skin and black as night hair. The girls of course where thrilled. His name was sasuke, whatever.

I sat alone at lunch like usual till he came over to join me, great.

"what are you doing cant you see I'm sitting here" I glared at him, he glared back.

"yeah and all alone at that so you unlike ever other table could spare the room"

"what if I didn't want to spare the room? ever think of that!" he was glaring even more menacingly at me now but I didn't care it was just a child's glare compared to fathers.

"hn what ever, stupid blonde" he just turned away refusing to move. And just like that I snapped. I pounced at him knocking us both to the floor and took a swing at him. His head turned with the force of the punch but that didn't slow his punch at all. He hit me in the face to.

We kept at it till the teachers were dragging us apart. We continued to glare but I knew that my beating was far from over especially if they called my father over this.

And yet I felt strangely better, I looked up to see him smirking and could tell he felt the same. Odd.


	4. the you that's so far away

The only thing that connects the sky and earth is the rain that flows between, so like the rain let my thoughts reach the you that's so far away.

I woke up the next morning, the previous day a little foggy but clearing up. I limped down the stairs and had breakfast on the table by the time the sun was up and with it my dad and mom. The didn't say a word to me and I was starting to think that it might actually be a good day.

I was out the door early and decided I would jog to school to work out the limp. With thought I plugged in my head phones and started on my way. Half way there it started to rain and I stopped to stare up at the clouds and feel the cool water wash away the sweat I had worked up. by the time I got to school I was soaked all the way through but it was fine, I headed to the bathrooms and changed into my spare pair of clothes throwing the wet pair in the bottom of my locker.

I head into the class room to see sasuke already there. He didn't seem to notice me come in and I was fine with that. I sat in my usual seat behind him and stared out the window watching as the ran caused the teachers and the other early kids to run inside the building.

The day passed much to slow for me, sasuke sat at my lunch table but this time I decided to let it slide, also I didn't think I could take another call home so soon. By the time school let out the rain had stopped, I was glad cause that meant track hadn't been canceled. It was my one and only escape, plus I was good at it.


	5. a mutual kind of drowning

Those surrounded by light, often only focus on the bad never noticing how much worse it could be. Those shrouded in dark can only focus on the good until the dark finally drowns them.

3 weeks later

I sat on the benches by the track, tying up my shoes when I heard sasuke. We had up until now mutually coexisted with out much trouble but I see he wasn't going to let that last. I glared at him and watched as not even a minute into it he glanced around then found me. I could tell he found me since he started glaring to.

I silently hoped for all I was worth that he didn't pass the try-outs but who was I kidding knowing my luck it was point less.

The coach shouted and I ran up to the line, we were to race. That was going to be his try-out. Great.

"START!" and I took off. It was a freeing feeling, just to feel the wind rushing past and my feet pound against the dirt below. It was a mind numbing sort of escape, so much so that I often forgot when to stop and so, like usual It wasn't until the second lap around that I stopped.

I saw sasuke talking with the coach but knew that I was pretty much done for the day, I grabbed my bag and started to head out. Half way home I realized that he had fallowed me.

"what the hell do you want!"

"nothing I just live this way" he kept walking almost as if to ignore me but it had been a pretty shitty week and I was done with going along with what ever he wanted.

"why the hell did you have to join track" I growled at him, he just sneered at me as if I was below him and I was sick and tiered of being below everyone. I pounced at him.

Again we traded blows this time nothing stopping us till were had literally beat the shit out of each other.

I managed to turn my head towards him and couldn't fight a smile, I don't know why but when I fought him I just felt better like a little of the weight had been taken off my shoulders. I saw him wearing a similar one and some how I knew. I knew why he joined track, most likely the same reason I had, I knew why he sat at the back and didn't talk to anyone, most likely the same reason as me. And lastly I finally understood why we were smiling.

A little weight had been taken off our shoulders and a reminder that we weren't alone and there was one more out there just as fucked up as us.


	6. 6 a lost escape

**Disclaimer- sasuke would be makin' uchiha babies with naruto by now if i owned it...**

There is no escape only a prolonged ending that regardless of what you do will always be the same.

**1 week later**

I had missed school today the first in a long time, if I remembered it was the first since sasuke, the new kid, moved here. I was currently nursing a sprained wrist and a most likely broken rib. A splatter of bruised that seemed more like permanent coloring much the same as a tan on a normal person. I was glad that at least it wasn't my ankle that got sprained.

But even though I was lucky enough to escape that, I had missed a competition today. Coach wouldn't be happy, but there was noway I could run with a broken rib either. Hell that meant I wouldn't be running for at least four weeks if not longer, depends on if I anger him enough.

I tried falling back asleep but the sharp pain every time I took a breath made it difficult to do much else then trying to breath as shallowly as possible. Tomorrow was going to be hell. Maybe I should just quite track. I mean that had been why dad was so angry in the first place.

Kept saying that I was training to run away, and I probably would be if I thought I could make it somewhere else with out getting caught and brought back. But since all I could say in my defense was that I wasn't, I still got the shit beat out of me.

(=)-(=)-(=)-(=)-(=)-(=)-(=)-(=)-(=)-(=)-(=)-(=)-(=)-(=)-(=)-(=)-(=)-(=)-(=)-(=)-(=)

I awoke to a crash. But couldn't sit up fast enough, my rib still throbbing. I made my way to the stairs and listened. It was mom and dad arguing about something, mom was saying something about moving and dad was saying they couldn't afford it. I got as close as I was willing to risk to hear it better.

"_come on I know some people who would help us out, all we have to do is leave the luggage, my friend will come by in a week or so and put it to use"_

"_no I like using it as is and there aint nothing wrong with where we are now."_

"_come on your about to get fired, we both know it."_ there was some shuffling then a grunt. I ran back to my room as silently as possible and put my ear to the floor, hoping the floor was as thine as the walls.

"_if you think we could get better then I guess I cant argue any longer."_ I was confused I only had maybe a month left of school till summer and they wanted to move. Would any school even accept me so late, or would I have to repeat this year. Dammit and I had just made a friend. They would do this to me.

I guess I would go tomorrow even if it hurt like hell just to say good bye to the one who was most like me.


	7. 7 I'll willingly deceive myself

**A/N - dont expect many more of sasuke pov's he should be happy he got his say in this at all, maybe ill do another but not for a long time. that being said any sasuke chapter will be longer then naruto's because he doe'st get to speak very often.**

No matter how well you think you've become at seeing through deception you will eventually be deceived.

**Sasu POV**

yesterday had been hell, Uncle Tobi had actually been and was going on about the right world order, didn't help that he was drunk. Or that he didn't take his bipolar meds. I had been unfortunate to be making dinner for myself when he walked in and now had a lovely bruise on my back and my should was a little sour from where he dislocated it and I had to pop it back in.

it hadn't always been bad, back when I live lived with mom and dad it had been great, yeah dad was as emotional and supportive as a cinder block and mom was patronizingly nice with me, but Itachi was there. He looked after me and took care of me. He was the only family I needed.

But every thing came crashing down when mom and dad were accused of terrorism. They where tried and found guilty and put to death Itachi still being to young to raise me was taking in by uncle Madarra who wouldn't take both of us. And I was left with uncle Tobi.

That was a good ten years ago. I had grown up a lot in the first three years of living with him. Learned that you could be blessed with money and cursed with family. And that I was. And most days with the house so big I could pretend I didn't live with him and I had a normal life, that was until we moved here where the house is smaller and seven out of ten nights I run into him one way or another. And with naruto starting fights in school I found I was running into him move often yet. i had thought about running away but even if I pulled all my money together I wouldn't have enough. Well I would have enough to move but without a job there was really no where for me to go.

I deiced that I would look for work after school today, there had to be some one who was willing to hire me. But first I would have to make it through the day and that meant dealing with naruto who seemed so lonely and lost. I remember day one when I thought I would try to help him not feel so lonely and only ended up getting in a fight, and yet after the whole thing was done and over I felt like for once I got to fight back I wasn't just taking it.

When I had looked over his face conveyed the same. I didn't pity him for then I would be pitying myself, no I was just glad I had found some one as damaged as I was to wallow in this life with me. It made it more bearable to see then just know somewhere out there it was not just me.

I joined the track team, I could see at the time it had pissed him off and I'm sure he thinks I joined cause It would be an escape but its not. Well at least like he thinks it is. And I wont tell him the true reason it because I just want to be around him more. I'm not sure how he would take it. I couldn't quite explain it myself either but I knew that around him I was almost normal.

**/Flash back two weeks ago/**

_I walked up to the table, having passed the criteria once of fighting the current leader of table, seemed to make it acceptable to always sit here. Or maybe like me he had gotten his ass handed to him for the call home. _

_I was grumpy today, since Tobi had woken me up and "surprised" me with a bath. A bucket of cold water, said bucket then being used to make sure I was awake by being swung down into my arm and chest. Though I cant say it was the worst wake up call, or that I haven't had worse. Either way it hurt and I just hoped he didn't start anything today. _

_He sat down and we ate in silence nothing to bad but next we had gym and we had to change if I could make it there fast enough I would be in and out before anyone even noticed a discoloration on my pale ass skin._

_Luck wasn't on my side, insert eye roll here, of course it never was. Naruto was in the one and only changing stall so I had to wait and look like a wuss or just get it over with._

"_hey dude what happened to your arm" kiba one of many said causing more to turn and look I was trying to think of the most plausible lie when surprisingly naruto came to mydefence. He appeared out of nowhere and staired deeply at it then smirked and started out._

"_huh guess I did more damage then I thought." it was all he said but every one left it at that and well it was healing no one questioned it. They had seen us go at it on day one._

**/end flash back/**

it had never come to a point where I could repay him but at the same time I knew that I was deluding myself into thinking he wasn't as pitiful as me.

It wasn't till lunch that it full sank in that he wasn't here. He hadn't been all day but I was hoping that he was just late. Or that he was really sick and not "sick". Some how I kept trying to make it out that he was pure and safe and even if that meant I truly was facing it on my own, I could lean on him to help with out questions, or really and talk.

Now that I thought about it, we never really talked other then to ague. I was fine with it since I never had been one for mindless chat but, I felt chat with him wouldn't be so mindless. Maybe.

(=)-(=)-(=)-(=)-(=)-(=)-(=)-(=)-(=)-(=)-(=)-(=)-(=)-(=)-(=)-(=)-(=)-(=)-(=)-(=)-(=)-(=)-(=)-(=)-(=)

I got to school early the next day. Feeling a horrid knot in my stomach, like the night so many years ago.

Shockingly naruto was already there. He looked sadder then normal. I walked over to him and sat down beside him.

"they left, I thought I was coming to say good bye but they already left." without me hung in the air unsaid but implied all the same. I was scared he didn't have anywhere else to go.

"fuck" I muttered and tried to calculate if I could speed up anything. Yesterday I had found a place hiring and they were in such need that I was starting to day, I didn't know if he would agree but with my crazy ideas it was either you were fully for them or fully against them.

"I... we...fuck" I couldn't get the words together and now he was looking at me weird. "I have money" he glared at me and I knew that the meaning had been missed.

"whoop-d fucking do for you" he was making designs on the ground in front of him with his finger and I knew more then missing what was gone, he was afraid of the unknown.

"no... I uh meant...we uh or you could get a place um with it." I cringed and looked off to the street rather then wait staring at him to process my horrid speech pattern today.

"I wouldn't take your money" he said but it wasn't like he was angry at me just sad that I would want to use my money on him.

"i was planning to run away with it anyway" I flinched and frowned not meaning to say "run away" maybe I should have phrased it like, I don't know just not that way.

"how much"

"maybe five thousand" I knew it was a lot compared to most people but it was such a small amount in my family and I knew I didn't technically need a job but I felt better with one. Plus I wouldn't get my inheritance till eighteen and I would rather know how society really worked then a spoiled brats perspective.

I glanced back at him to see his mouth hanging open, and looked away. I should have lied and said it was two thousand, that was closer to believable.

"how long have you been saving up" truthfully only a year but that would make our little friend/what ever we were awkward.

"long enough" I would let him fill in the blanks and hopefully he would leave it at that. He nodded and we agreed to meet here after school he said he would go job hunting and I suggested the place that hired me since they were in such need.

School after that seemed to move slowly, lunch and gym were short but the rest took what felt like half a day each. When the final bell rung I raced back to the tree we had sat at that morning and we headed out first so naruto could apply for a job then next to hunt for apartments. We both knew it would have to be in the worse part of town to even consider letting to kids barely sixteen rent.

By the time I got home it was dark but we had a place and all we needed was to go there tomorrow with the money. I wasn't stupid though. It was most likely a scam but if we go it I wouldn't have to worry. I rushed to my room glad to see Tobi wasn't home.

Packing all the things I could into a large gym bag I dropped it out my window to hide in the bushes below. didn't wasn't uncle questioning the need for such a large and full gym bag. Then after making sure everything was in order I laid down and fell alseep.


	8. 8 you'll never make it to the other side

**disclaimer - i own nothing but the misery i put them through**

Watching evil and saying you'll never be like that is like standing on a tight rope with the villain cutting the rope. you'll never make it to the other side or back to your side safely.

I woke to the light in my face and rushed to make breakfast glad to see father and mother weren't up yet when I finished I made my own breakfast and sat eating it. It wasn't till I was done that I looked at the time and realized I was late and mother and father weren't going to eat.

They left, it kept repeating in my head. I was the luggage mom had been talking about. They had left me and soon her friend would come and put me to use. I didn't even want to think of what kind of use he would put me to.

I decided I wouldn't go to school today my rib still hurting instead I walked to the slums and hid to watch the apartment. The corner held a couple whores and I caught the movement of a long coat tail around the side of the building, probably their pimp.

Only one drug deal went down well I was out there, which I took as a good sign. Then I saw sasuke he looked worse for wear. I watched him knock on the door to the landlord and saw them bicker through the sliver the guy was willing to open the door. Apparently he didn't trust how sasuke got the money so fast. They argued a bit longer till sasuke just trusted the money through the opening and a key was thrown out. The door was slammed and sasuke walked back to where ever he hid the rest of his things, I stealthily made my way back through the ally ways to my house and gathered anything I would need sadly it didn't even fill a duffel bag.

When I got back to the place I knocked on the door and was glad to hear something move inside, even if it didn't open the door.

"sasuke it me" I said into the door not to loudly not wanting anyone else to hear.

"naruto?" the door opened and there he stood glaring at me. "thanks for leaving me to get it alone, how did you know I got it by the way."

"ah umm I staked out the place all day and sat close by in case it went bad I could get help"i rubbed the back of my head and was yanked inside.

"well the pace doesn't have any beds... or anything for that matter." he looked around and I did to it was bare like the last person in here striped it clean, to sell or take the shit with him.

"my old stuff but umm we would have to drag it across town." I mumbled half hoping he wouldn't hear. He nodded and then as if in thought walked over to the fridge opening it as if to make sure it worked.

"empty your bag and ill do the same well carry back and forth anything that will fit in it and for the bigger stuff like the bed we'll do it at night so people wont see."


End file.
